La Mala Costumbre - Alana | S. Portero.epub
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The central "mala costumbre" (bad habit) of the title is a masterful misdirection. On the surface, it refers to the protagonist's use of self-harm and substance abuse as coping mechanisms. But as you read, you realize the real bad habit is the world’s insistence on lying about who she is.
Portero writes the trans experience not as a transition from A to B, but as a rescue mission. The young protagonist (referred to in the early chapters with masculine pronouns that feel like a punch to the gut, mirroring the character’s own dysphoria) navigates a world where being a marica (a slur reclaimed with difficulty) is grounds for a beating. The book is unsparing in its depiction of street violence and the slow violence of family disappointment.
Yet, Portero refuses to reduce her protagonist to suffering. There is a sacred joy here, hidden in the cracks. The discovery of a hidden red heel. The ritual of applying makeup in a filthy bathroom mirror. The moment she looks at the vedettes and trans women in the park at night—not as cautionary tales, but as queens.
The file "La mala costumbre - Alana S. Portero.epub" contains a work of
The Sacred and the Profane: Identity and Class in La mala costumbre
Alana S. Portero’s debut novel, La mala costumbre, is more than a simple coming-of-age story; it is a "trans bildungsroman" that intertwines the visceral reality of working-class Madrid with the mythic struggles of self-realization. By setting the narrative against the backdrop of the post-Francoist heroin epidemic and the gritty streets of the San Blas neighborhood, Portero elevates the struggle for identity into a universal "odyssey" for belonging.
The Intersection of Class and GenderA central pillar of the novel is the inextricable link between the protagonist’s gender identity and her working-class upbringing. Portero, a historian herself, portrays a neighborhood that is "exhausted"—where families love their children but lack the "tools," time, or education to understand a trans identity because they are consumed by 12-hour workdays. The narrator feels trapped not just by her body, but by a social environment that has "no place for her," where being queer often leads to social or physical exile. La mala costumbre - Alana S. Portero.epub
Mythic Realism and the "Fallen Angel"Portero uses a distinct literary style that blends brutal realism with mythic allusions. The neighborhood is populated by "fallen angels" and secondary characters who are given mythical doubles:
Marguerita: A middle-aged trans woman who serves as a captivates but frightening "lodestar" for the narrator.
The Neighborhood: Described through a lens that turns the mundane into the legendary, the prose is noted for its "lyrical beauty" and ability to find "sacredness" in the "profane".This elevated language allows the narrator to find dignity and "self-worth" in a world that denies it to her. Alana S. Portero: Bad Habit and Beyond — ZERO.NINE
Discovering " La mala costumbre Alana S. Portero If you are looking for a story that is as brutal as it is tender, Alana S. Portero’s debut novel, La mala costumbre (translated into English as
), is a must-read. This coming-of-age odyssey has taken the literary world by storm, earning praise from cultural icons like and director Pedro Almodóvar The Story: A Journey Through Madrid’s Margins
Set in the 1980s and 90s, the novel follows an unnamed narrator growing up in San Blas, a working-class neighborhood in Madrid ravaged by the heroin epidemic. Born into a boy’s body but possessing an unshakable knowledge of her identity as a girl, she navigates a world defined by rigid patriarchy and the ever-present threat of violence.
As she grows older, her journey takes her from the desolate streets of her childhood to the clandestine, glittering nightlife of downtown Madrid. Along the way, she encounters a vibrant cast of "fallen angels"—junkies, pop divas, and wise trans sex workers—who become her mentors and chosen family. Key Themes
Bad Habit by Alana S Portero review – in search of acceptance
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La mala costumbre (translated as ), the debut novel by Spanish author Alana S. Portero, is a lyrical and raw coming-of-age story that follows an unnamed trans girl growing up in a working-class neighborhood of Madrid. Plot Overview
The narrative spans the late 1980s through the 1990s, set against the backdrop of the heroin epidemic and the shifting social landscape of post-Franco Spain. Childhood in San Blas: Because of the high demand, searches for "La
The protagonist grows up in a blue-collar suburb where she feels trapped and isolated. The story begins with a striking scene where, at age five, she "falls in love" with a neighbor's bloodied corpse, viewing him as a "fallen angel". Adolescence and Double Life:
As a teenager, she ventures into downtown Madrid and the gay neighborhood of Chueca. She begins living a double life—presenting as male by day while exploring her identity in the underground party scene at night. Trauma and Retreat:
Following a brutal assault and the loss of a first love, she retreats into herself and spends years in a "limbo," struggling with mental health and the fear of living authentically. Healing and Acceptance:
The story eventually circles back to her roots, where caring for a dying trans neighbor and reconnecting with her past helps her finally choose to live as her true self. Key Themes Identity and Sisterhood:
The novel emphasizes the power of "found family" and the mentorship the protagonist receives from older, world-weary trans sex workers. Mythology and the Divine:
Portero, a historian by training, uses classical myths and Catholic icons to describe her characters, elevating their struggles to a "mythic" status. Class and Gender:
It explores how poverty and social class intersect with the trans experience, highlighting the specific violence faced by working-class trans women. Book Details La mala costumbre by Alana S. Portero - Goodreads
Alana S. Portero's " La mala costumbre " is a powerful coming-of-age story that follows a trans woman finding her identity in working-class Madrid, navigating a hostile world while forging a path of resilience. The novel blends gritty realism with poetic reflection, tracing her journey from childhood in San Blas to embracing her true self and finding a sense of arrival.
La mala costumbre (English title: Bad Habit) is the 2023 debut novel by Spanish playwright and poet Alana S. Portero. A visceral and lyrical coming-of-age story, the book has become an international literary phenomenon, translated into over 17 languages. It explores the intersections of gender, class, and identity in post-Franco Spain. Plot Overview
The novel follows an unnamed narrator, a young trans girl born into a boy’s body, as she navigates the working-class neighborhood of San Blas in Madrid during the 1980s and '90s.
Childhood in San Blas: Growing up in a suburb ravaged by the heroin epidemic, the protagonist feels isolated and "trapped in a body she does not know how to inhabit". Many public libraries (including the Network of Madrid
Double Life: As a teenager, she begins to explore Madrid’s clandestine nightlife and the gay neighborhood of Chueca, living as a woman by night while maintaining a male persona by day.
Search for Community: Through encounters with "fallen angels"—junkies, pop divas, and world-weary trans sex workers—she eventually finds the "chosen family" and sisterhood necessary to survive a society that denies her existence. Key Themes
Bad Habit by Alana S Portero review – in search of acceptance
La mala costumbre (Bad Habit) by Alana S. Portero is a critically acclaimed coming-of-age novel depicting a trans woman's journey through 1980s and 90s working-class Madrid. The narrative highlights themes of identity, trans sisterhood, and the search for acceptance, often utilizing raw realism mixed with mythical imagery. Read a full review at The Guardian
Title: La mala costumbre by Alana S. Portero: The Sacred Wound of Growing Up Trans in a Hostile World
There are books that inform you, and then there are books that inhabit you. Alana S. Portero’s debut novel, La mala costumbre (Bad Habit), falls squarely into the second category. Published originally in Spanish and now gaining international acclaim (with a keen eye on the upcoming English translation), this is not a tidy, trauma-porn memoir dressed as fiction. It is a raw, poetic, and unflinching x-ray of a specific kind of pain: growing up poor, working-class, and trans in the San Blas neighborhood of 1980s and 90s Madrid.
If you are looking for a story about overcoming adversity with a neat bow on top, look elsewhere. Portero is interested in something more complicated—the habit of self-destruction, the beauty found in the margins, and the radical act of surviving when the world wants you to disappear.
The author does not romanticize medical transition. She exposes the visceral horror of hormonal self-administration, the marks of needles, and the slow, painful process of recognizing oneself in the mirror.
The protagonist finds solace not in reality but in fantasy: B-movies, castillos góticos, and the novels of Anne Rice. The EPUB format allows you to hyperlink these references, creating a web of intertextuality.
No. And that is its strength.
The novel contains explicit descriptions of:
It is recommended for mature readers (18+). However, for trans readers, especially those from working-class backgrounds, many have reported the book as cathartic. As one Goodreads review states: "Portero wrote the diary I was too afraid to keep."
For cisgender readers, it is a masterclass in empathy. It does not ask for pity; it demands action.